The Readings

From  The Bible Psalm 23       King James Version

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

he leadeth me beside still waters.
He restoreth my soul:

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his names sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

From  The Art of Happiness

                    by The Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler 

The systematic training of the mind - the cultivation of happiness, the genuine inner transformation by deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states and dismissing negative mental states – is possible because of the very structure and function of the brain. We are born with brains that are genetically hardwired with certain instinctual behavior patterns; we are predisposed mentally, emotionally and physically to respond to our environment in ways that enable us to survive. These basic sets of instructions are encoded in countless innate nerve cell activation patterns, specific combinations of brain cells that fire in response to any given event, experience, or thought. But the wiring in our brains is not static, not irrevocably fixed. Our brains are also adaptable. Neuroscientists have documented the fact that the brain can design new patterns, new combinations of nerve cells in response to new input.  In fact, our brains are malleable, ever changing, reconfiguring their wiring according to new thoughts and experiences.  Scientists call the brain’s inherent capacity to change “plasticity.”

The Message

I’m going to give you some great tips today. I’m going to tell you how to make a lot of money in the stock market and I’m going to tell you how to lose weight and I’m tell you how to be happy. First, how to make a ton of money in the stock market:  Buy low. Sell high. It’s that simple. Now, losing weight: Eat less. Exercise more. Oh, well, yes more instruction is required to follow these simple little formulas but neither of those is my message today.

No my message is another elusive but desirable goal:  How to be happy: This is also something that is achieved by a simple formula: Let go of fear. Live with hope. Love what you get. The result is happiness. You knew that, right? I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. It’s simple. But if it’s so easy, why is it so hard? 

Maybe we just need to know more about how it works.

*

I grew up around a lot of unhappy people. So unhappiness and negativity was what I learned. I thought it was  normal. But then fortunately, early on, I think I was in about the 5^th grade I came across a quote from Abraham Lincoln.  He said,“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Reading that hit me like lightning.  IT’S A CHOICE?!

After many years of study on this topic, I know Lincoln was right.  Happiness IS a choice.

Life is hard and full of things that can create unhappiness. But we make a choice to be unhappy or happy. It is possible to be peaceful, content, even happy –in all circumstances. 

Let me tell you a very popular Zen story.

The great Zen Master Hakuin lived in a small hut. He was greatly revered in the village

and known as a wise and saintly man.

One day a village girl became pregnant. The father of the baby left town and she was alone and frightened. As she did not know what else to do, she told the entire village that Hakuin was the father. All the townspeople were shocked. They stopped bringing food and offerings. Instead of praising Haikuin now they blamed him.

“You are the worst of all beings,” they said.
“So you say,” replied Hakuin.

The baby was born and brought to Hakuin.

“This baby is yours,” the villagers  said.

“So you say,” Hakuin said and took the baby gladly. He cared for the baby lovingly for several years. Then, one day, the father of the baby returned to the village

and wanted to marry the mother and take back the baby. They told everybody the truth.

The people were astonished. They all returned to his hut with offerings and told him what a great man he was.
“So you say,” said Hakuin.

Soon after that the couple returned for the baby. Hakuin gave them their child lovingly.

*

Now, How did Haikun acquire such contentment, such acceptance of all things?

Haikun was content because he knew that

happiness is not determined by what happens to us. It is determined by how we react to what happens to us.

You must accept that you cannot control what happens. Understand that you can control your attitude about what happens. Everything is perception. There is no objective good or bad.

It is good if you believe it is good.

There was a time I was working with a women’s shelter in San Francisco.

Through a grant we had leased an old run-down hotel in (what could only be called) the “bad” part of town and through donations we had furnished each beat-up room with a bed, a chair and a table. I remember as I prepared the rooms how grateful I was that I did not have to live in such a place.

The day came that I escorted a homeless woman to the room she would occupy. 

It was, I realized, the smallest and shabbiest of the rooms.  As she stood at the door, looking in, she began to cry. I stammered an apology,

saying we would try to bring some nicer things in for her but she turned to me and said,

“Oh no, you don’t understand. These are tears of joy. I’ve never lived in such a beautiful place before.”

This was a big lesson for me: Perception is everything.

In all circumstances we have a choice about our attitude. Another true story:

One of my favorite writers, Rachel Naomi Remen, suffered from Crohn’s disease from an early age. In order to survive she had to undergo a colostomy.

It was the night before the colostomy surgery,

an eight-hour affair that would alter her  body permanently. She was twenty-seven and unmarried at the time.  Late in the evening an older woman, a technical aide, had come to her hospital room to shave her abdomen in preparation for the procedure. 

As she went about this humble task, she had asked Rachel  about the next day’s surgery.

Filled with resentment, self-pity and a sense of victimhood, Rachel told her what was planned and burst into tears. The woman seemed quite surprised. Rachel asked her angrily. “How would YOU feel if they were going to do this to YOU tomorrow!?”

The woman took the question literally and thought it over. Then, patting Rachel gently, she said, “If I needed it to live, I would be glad for the help.”  Rachel said the answer changed her attitude immediately. [1]

The great secret is wanting what you have, loving what you get, not wishing for something else. Is it not?

We can choose our feelings under any circumstances ---even under the most difficult and degrading. Victor Frankl survived the Holocaust, spending three years in the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz, where his parents and three family members died.His book Man’s Search for Meaning is the story of his experiences in the camp, where he and the others had every shred of comfort and humanity stripped from them --- shelter, warmth, work, health, family, safety, even their very identities –their names---were taken from them. They were referred to as numbers.

But Frankl observed from his experience that the prisoner's reactions did not have to be a  result of the dehumanizing conditions of their lives, but were a choice they made, even in this severe suffering.

Some of the prisoners willed themselves to remain not only human, but loving. He writes, "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the people who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the ability to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances…..When we are no longer able to change a situation we are able to change our thinking about it."

We can choose how we react to a situation.

We have that power. But to use it, we must cultivate it. But how? Well, here’s how it starts: Fear not. Do you know who said that? 

Jesus said that. Mohammed said that. Lao Tzu said that.  Buddha said that. And Confucius. Gandhi said that.The Dalai Lama  and Thich Nhat Hanh write books about it, in our time.

That instruction is repeated in all the great religious traditions

of the world ---by the FOUNDERS of those religions, if not all of their followers.

Life, of course, is full of pain, grief and difficulty. I do not have to recite for you a litany of the horribles that surround and afflict us. We are all too familiar with them

---from the physical disabilities and diseases that afflict our bodies to the social injustices that saturate the earth from Green Bay in Wisconsin to the Green Zone in Iraq. We suffer setbacks and catastrophes in our relationships, at our jobs and observe them daily in our roles as a citizens of the world.

There is, we are constantly reminded, much to fear. 

But my suggestion is that we do what all the religious traditions suggest. Despite all the badnews. Despite the all difficulties.

LIVE BY WHAT YOU TRUST.

NOT BY WHAT YOU FEAR.

You know what?  You do this all time. Statistics show us that one of the most dangerous things we can do is to drive an automobile. The likelihood of being killed or injured while driving is statistically more probable than anything else we do in our daily lives. And yet every day we get into our cars,

simply pushing aside the fearful truth

and instead ---trusting our ability to control the vehicle and assuming the competence

of the other drivers on the road.

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” [2] and “Do not fear, only believe.”[3] Every time an angel shows up in the bible they say the same thing, “Fear not.”  Every time.

I am not suggesting we can or should stop being afraid all the time. Fear is helpful.

It keeps us from entering into situations that can be dangerous. But it can also be crippling.

It keeps us from entering into situations that can be glorious. When you are afraid, ask yourself, do I want to act out of fear right now?

Is this fear helping me, or is it getting in the way of what I really want to do?

Fear is, I think, the most serious obstacle we face as human beings.  It is the most destructive emotional bogeyman there is.

We cannot rid ourselves of this basic human emotion, but we can manipulate it for our own advantage. Being courageous does not mean being unafraid.

It means being afraid and doing it anyway.

Here is the moment that I learned about fear.

I had always wanted to go skydiving, so in my 20’s I went for the half-day training and in the afternoon they took me up in a plane for my first jump.  But I tell you ---when they open the door of that plane and you step to the edge and look out, it is terrifying.

It’s incredibly noisy from the engine, the wind is fierce and, when you look, it’s a long way down.  Everything in you says “Don’t jump!”

and I don’t mind telling you I was terrified.

Fear was about to win. But then I said to my fear, “You are in my way. You have to go over there in the corner and wait. I want to jump.”

And I found some small place in myself that was stronger than that huge fear, latched onto that, and leaped out of the plane. It was exhilarating. But I tell you, over the years,

when I look back on that moment I wonder what that exhilaration was all about. Was it the jump itself, or was it the triumph over fear?

It seems to me it was the latter.

Now, how do we learn to live fearlessly? That’s the hard part!

It’s not easy to change your mind, but it can be done. You learn it like you learn any other skill. Like math, like cooking, like Spanish, like golf. You practice. You do spiritual practices that train the mind and heart to be content.  Buddhists call this “training the mind for happiness.”

Spiritual practices are spiritual calisthenics. 

If we want to build up our bodies, we go to the gym ---every day. If we want to build up our spirits, we do a  spiritual practice ---every day.

We can’t be lazy six days a week and expect to do heavy lifting on the seventh. We have to build our strength and then preserve it ---and know how to use it; know how to access it when we need it.

We can’t just read about it or listen to tapes about it or talk about it. Knowing about something is not the same as knowing something. That comes by doing it, until it’s a part of you. 

Remember when you first tried to ride a bike? or drive a car? It wasn’t enough to know what to do or to watch someone else do it. You had to do it until it became a part of you. Then you really knew it.

Spiritual practices  are the same and they take many forms. Meditation and prayer are common of course. But a spiritual practice can be almost anything: dancing, writing poetry, doing social work, yoga, cooking, fixing a motorcycle, fishing, golf. Almost anything can be a spiritual practice because it’s not what you do that matters--- it’s how you do it. 

In any of these things you make a concentrated effort, you try hard, you fail, you keep trying, you give it your all, and then you let go of the results. You do the work but you let go of any expectation about what comes of it. 

And the result of this concentrated spiritual work is that you begin to form a new habit in your brain. You take advantage of the “plasticity” of the brain. You connect a synapse in your heart that gets used to working, striving, trying ---and then letting go. Not being attached to the results.

Because we need to do the same thing in every endeavor of our life. We do our jobs as best we can, but we have no control over whether what we do will succeed or fail ---ever, so we let go of that and are content with whatever happens, no matter what. We raise our children as best we can, but we have no control over the kind of people they become, so we let go of that, and remain content with however they turn out.  We do what we can to keep our bodies fit and healthy but we have no control over genetics and ageing and disease, so we let go of that and are content with the bodies we have, just as they are.

I’ve often spoken often about the simple set of rules I use ---my four little Rules For Living.

Show up. Pay attention. Speak from the heart.

Don’t be attached to the results.

Showing up means being willing to do what needs to be done.

Paying attention means using all the education and help available to do the best you can. Speaking from the heart means being fearless and truthful. 

And Don’t Be Attached to the Results, well ----that’s the ticket.

If you’re attached to the results you bounce constantly from being happy and pleased when things go your way to being unhappy and discouraged when they don’t.

The secret to contentment, the way to be happy is to go for it, full bore, but then let all go.

The Christian Bible, The Muslim Koran, The Hindu Gita, The Buddhist Dammapada ---they all teach the same thing. Work. Serve. Strive. Trust. Love. But don’t be attached to the things of this world. Do you job. Fulfill your duty. Give your best. Try your hardest.

But then let go.

You set the sail but God makes the wind.

Jesus said  “Do not worry about your life.

Behold the lilies of the field who neither toil nor spin yet are arrayed in all their finery.[4]

Buddha said “Those whose compulsions are gone, who are not attached to things,

whose joy is emptiness, and liberation are free,

like the birds in the sky.” [5]

The psalmist says it so beautifully in the 23^rd Psalm. What a statement of confidence!

Talk about positive thinking! “I will fear no evil…. my cup runneth over….Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” Try waking up every day believing THAT.When pain and difficulties come –and they come to all of us ---we can  deal with them, but from this same place of confidence.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Live hopefully. Jesus said, “Truly, I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to the mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. [6] The Buddha said, 

“A monk who is skilled in concentration

can cut the Himalayas in two.” [7] It might not happen. But you must believe it can happen.

Miracles do occur ---every day

Is it hard? This work? Yes. It’s entering the kingdom through what Jesus called “the narrow gate.”  He said, “You enter [the kingdom] through the narrow gate. The gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to death and unhappiness, and there are many who take it.

For the gate is narrow and the road is hard

that leads to life and joy, and there are few who take it.” [8]

If it’s so hard, why try to be happy? Well, it’s fun. It’s makes us healthier.  It makes us more attractive. It makes us more powerful. It showers us with the gifts of the spirit. The apostle Paul is very specific about what the gifts of the spirit are in the letter to the Galatians. They are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Oh! that we could go to Younkers and purchase such gifts!

But they do not come pre-packaged and purchaseable. The gifts of the spirit are home-made, with your own heart and head and hands.

*

Now, some people might say that being happy is a selfish goal. No! Being happy is not a selfish goal. It’s a social responsibility. It’s our first task as human beings. Remember what they tell us in the airplane: “Put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others.”

Being happy is how we heal ourselves.

Contentment is evidence that we are healed.

And this is a requirement if we’re going to do any good in the world at all. 

We cannot heal others if we ourselves are not healed. But the instant we are healed it is the human impulse to be kind, to give something away.

Happiness is the foundation for all effective work in the world.  Robert Pirsig wrote, in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. “I think that if we are going to reform the world,

and make it a better place to live in, the way to do it is not with political programs full of things for other people to do.  The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands, and then to work outward from there.”

Live fearlessly. Live hopefully. Don’t be attached to the results. This is what the religious traditions teach us about how to be happy. And remember -----

most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Peace be with you.